Are You Ready to Ask Yourself, “What Is Your Wish For the Future?”
Before Christmas last year I was down and soul-tired. How could I change things? What could I do? I began with gratitude. I felt I was not being nurtured by others. It was not completely true but is was how I felt. I had many things to be grateful for. Seeming to lack other options, I started with that and I began taking better care of myself and decided to be more compassionate to myself.
I know about manifesting but I didn’t have the energy to visualize better solutions… that’s pretty low. I do have very good friends, so I surrounded myself with those thoughts and sometimes I felt a soothing feeling of calm.
Out of the blue, a good friend to the north called me and invited me to up for an extended visit. I would have never asked her, so I jumped at the opportunity. I had a lot to do before leaving and I was happy to focus on the work at hand. It was my first reprieve, a rainbow beyond my gloom.
Before my trip, I got a call from my adorable sister-in-law. She wanted to meet for lunch and I must admit, it was an effort to accept and break out of my past patterns of being withdrawn. Happily, I did go and we spent a delightful three hours at a little restaurant.
Toward the end of our time, she asked me if I had checked into Social Security widow’s benefits. Her brother and my husband, had passed years ago and there wasn’t anything that came to me from his estate. Within a year, a second tragedy struck with the death of one of my two daughters from cancer. I hadn’t been the same since and closed the door on revisiting those difficult days.
But my sister-in-law gave me hope, it would all come down to how long I was married in order to be eligible for the benefits. I was going to have to get the marriage license and divorce papers from my storage locker, a big job given all the boxes in there.
I went to the storage locker, opened the door and it was more intimidating than I remembered, wall-to-wall boxes. Well you have to start somewhere, so I picked a box from the top and opened it. To my surprise, all the paperwork I need was in the first place I looked. Grateful!! Looking at the records, I was married for 10 years and 4 months.
My flight was the next day, so I put off the Social Security inquiry for the moment and traveled north. I had a marvelous time there even though I had a fall I had during my visit. As it turns out, the fall was a blessing because I was getting treatments of steady massages and acupuncture with some very good side-effects. I was certainly being pampered and cared for, but more importantly, I could feel the release of those pains from my past. I was becoming more whole and happier.
Apparently I was ready for an important question asked by a friend, “What is your wish for the future?” I really didn’t know what to ask for, but recent events made me think that a way forward was being made for me.
In my recent past, I would wake up late, work some, and then later, read and nap. It was how I coped with the empty day after day, but now I wanted to go back to being the artist I was before. In a short time, the artworks began to flow out of me. It was a wonderful feeling and they were selling! That is always a good thing because I had been living a very minimal existence financially. Now I was fulfilled doing artworks for people that appreciated them. Yes, a way forward was definitely developing for me and at last, I was taking the first steps along that path. It made me feel joyous, empowered and secure.
On my flight back home, I had a conversation with a woman that was in the fashion business.I realized that I was not in that place… yet.
I noticed that as we were talking on the plane, the pain from my recent fall disappeared! So many good things are continuing to come my way! I felt compelled to take action and write down an intention, that I will be living in the town I just visited. I was clear on that, but actually writing it down surprised and empowered me. Well then, OK on making a move. I am taking charge!
Now that I was back home, I felt good about exploring the possible survivors’ benefits. I called ahead, but I was told that I had to appear personally, without an appointment, and to get to the Social Security office early. Once in the office, I had to take a number and wait. When it was my turn, I met a most wonderful man at a counter behind a glass separator.
Looking at my records he said, “Well dear, it looks like you will qualify for benefits, but just barely.” There is an advantage to being older because people often use endearing names for you and today it was very nice to hear. I was stunned that I might qualify and said to myself that $300 a month would be great. Immediately I corrected myself, taking the limits off of what would be possible.
He asked me about my loss and I told him that my daughter had also passed about the same time. He looked at me with his caring eyes and moved his hand under the glass barrier to me. I touched his hand and immediately felt like I had plugged into an electrical outlet, the feeling was so strong, a pure and caring connection. “We will take care of you,” he said, and then he went off to talk to a colleague.
In the interim, I felt my deceased husband and daughter around me and I thanked them both.The man came back, seated himself and asked, “How does $1470 a month for life sound to you?” I was dumbstruck and for the first time, I didn’t have a snappy comeback. “It’s a miracle, and you are part of it,” I finally said. He smiled and told me he is here to serve.
I didn’t even have a bank account to put the money into, so he gave me a debit card in the interim with my payments for February and March loaded in. Now you get an idea of where I was financially.
Shortly after, my friend from the north called and said I could come up immediately, graciously offering me a place to stay including studio space.I can’t believe my good fortune but it is all a wish come true. I will continue to ask and not just wait, but act on my intentions. I am so very grateful for these big changes in my life!
Go to the Interviews Page to see and hear Ken talking about Manifesting 123 and you don’t need #3. There is new information here and you won’t hear it anywhere else. It is so simple. Make it work for you!
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