From My Suicide, Then to Paris and Finding My Love
Patrice writes:
My manifesting days began long before I read Manifesting 123, but his book definitely outlines the path that makes all of it come to pass much quicker. Waking up in gratitude is my key to unlocking my manifesting door.
I was once profoundly disturbed enough by a real life circumstance that I attempted to stop that misery in a very final way. I was actively committing suicide.
As my own respirations were growing more shallow and my eyesight became more blurry, I started to weep. I gently wept at the thought that my life was coming to an end before I had even seen Paris, the city of light. The most eternally romantic of hearts have beaten there. I had longed to walk those streets, breathing in those sights and aromas as many of the greatest artists had. I could and still do hear Edith Piaf, the songbird & the sparrow, as she sings Non Je Ne Regrette Rien. No regrets.
Somehow through that haze I did the unthinkable, the thing that I had promised myself I would NOT do. I picked up the phone & called a friend. That friend also did the unimaginable and called the paramedics who were at my door quickly. I was placed on a stretcher with eyes unable to adjust to the intense sunlight outside my hotel room door.
I arrived at the ER where one is forced to speak of the deed. At the hospital they induced the vomiting that is necessary to purge what I had taken. Being transported by EMT’s and being hospitalized after a suicide attempt is a lot like what I would imagine being arrested and jailed is like.
No one in either the ambulance, emergency room or on the floor will speak with you beyond stating the obvious. Blood draw. Drink this. I am here to take your vitals. There is no banter. You are the lowest of the low. Rightfully so. These employees are there to save lives from real illness or injury, not to save a life of a grown up who looks for the easy way out.
Suicide watch is a misery and no hairdryers or razor blades are allowed. My body did react to the toxins and was covered in a full body rash: face, scalp, ears, nostrils, etc. It was somewhat of a battle to get released and I needed some help. While an inpatient, I called some friends in Florida, (who were also both employed in the health industry) and they generously offered me a safe haven to go to.
Not even one full year later, I married a European in Key West, Florida. We immediately did some traveling and I had an ever so brief time in Noisy-le-Roi and Paris. My husband knew why my tears were freezing to my cheeks.
As a former art student, I simply had to visit the Louvre. I simply had to do all of the touristy type things as well! I had to climb those steps to Montmartre & I had to have a small painting, which still hangs in my home I made it to Paris after all, though I am now divorced.
The highlight to this visit was not the Seine cruise, or real frites near the Arc de Triomphe, nor walking the Champs Elysee at dusk, lit by thousands of twinkling white holiday lights. It was not the romantic & pricey dinner. Nor ducking in & out of chartcuteries, boulangeries or chocolate shops or even Hediard’s. It was not the Eiffel Tower.
It was entering the most beloved cathedral, Sacre Couer. Looking at the candles and the fee for each. I bought a candle for every day I had lived. I lit every candle, having to search for places to place them. At each stop, I deliberately prayed anew: that I may never forget the lesson learned that past year and that day. It was a renewal of my deep gratitude and will to live.
These experiences led me to change. I reached out to a brighter future and once again, I began to ask, pray and manifest what would benefit me.
All of us come to this life with gifts. All of us suffer difficulty, extreme loss and heartbreak. The miracle of all miracles is that with a bit of gratitude and a well-turned thought, we can actually manifest a different life for ourselves, an easier, more connected-to-source life. This is what Manifesting 123 has done for me. I am now very connected to source, to wellspring, to my own creativity.
I credit the book & the amazing chance opportunity of actually meeting Ken Elliott in person as the foundation to abundance that has brought me so many recent amazing and spectacular outcomes.
Chief among these is my new love, a main squeeze of the lasting kind. I did pretty much exactly as Ken describes in the book, I did not visualize any of his real physical characteristics. I did not have the usual list of attributes that I had once prepared, only specifying this would be for my highest good. I even made up my mind in advance that no matter what man arrived, I would not ask that even a hair on his head change. “Don’t change your hair for me, not if you care for me.” My dear love and I found each other.
What I have received is far greater than even my own imagination is capable of! The very, very best part is that this man loves me just the way I am.
I have not listened to one single person’s opinion about how quickly and deeply we fell in love, because those people are not privy to what has transpired between us in our short time frame. They have not read the countless lengthy emails or the amazing early morning texts or had the really long revealing telephone conversations or felt our hands when they touch.
This IS white on rice. This IS the real thing. This IS a huge, huge, huge love. And we both feel it. I am 64 & we are both hoping that we can make it at least to our 25th anniversary. He has even begun saying: Here’s to 2041!
Ken and I have talked about better futures, living more comfortably and the health challenge that I face. I don’t believe that I have yet mentioned to him that I do not own a vehicle. There are numerous additions to my current lifestyle that would be a huge, huge boon.
All of them pale by comparison to my new, loving companion. If I chose just one major improvement that has brought me lasting comfort & peace of mind, this love would be it. To love & be loved.
I am so blessed. Thank you for writing your book! Thank you Universe.
Patrice
Have a manifesting story to share? Please email it in and if it is used for this newsletter I’ll send you a free, signed copy of the book as a thank you.
Photo credit: from Devon James The OdysseyOnline blog
